where's my happy ending?

Funny when i was young, i used to think i'm different from all the rest. Feeling- that's the word me and my sisters would always use whenever someone would assume that everyone is drawn to her or him for that matter. Yes, feeling ako nung bata pa ko. And now i dont even know why im saying this. Just remembered, when i got pregnant, i lost all that pride in me. Turned out im no different pala.

I will always remember may napanood ako nung gradeschool, bf-gf thing, guy was asking girl if they can do it na, girl refused, end of story. I was trying to analyze it with my little brain then, thinking na if im mature enough to have a boyfriend at pag niyaya ako like that, i will slap his face at break na kami. Funny ba? I still believe in the saying that true love waits though.

One mommy blogger said she didnt like it when her dad told her she would be happier now that she has a son. Not true, she could be as happy as she is now even without the baby. So true, how would you know nga naman the feeling that u could be happier when u havent experienced it in the first place. So much about happiness.

Ever since i gave birth, people have been asking me how am i quite often, and when i reply in the affirmative, para bang they don't believe me. What people dont understand is that im relatively ok, im tougher than i thought, and i just dont open up to anyone anymore. I dont understand myself so why let anyone in anyway?

I dont pray as much anymore. And it bothers me to death. And everytime i pray its always to ask for forgiveness, to give me another chance, and to help me raise Lucas well...to raise him as a good person not like me. I'm just tired. Sometimes when i go to communion, i would always think i may be the most sinful among everyone inside our church. Its tiring i know but i cant help it.

Maybe, i would be happier if i'm single. Maybe, im not meant to be with anyone because i'm selfish.

I want to be invisible now. Lagi ko naiisip dati when i was a kid, pag may super power ako, i wanna have the power to be invisible. Actually, naisip ko talaga yan kasi i want to ransack my first boyfriend's room para mahanap ung silver bracelet na he got from me and i was just too painfully shy to ask for him to return it knowing na its not even mine to begin with. Its my ate anne's, i used it kasi this one time and she didnt know it was me who took it! Now i want to be invisible just for the purpose of being invisible.

Sad no?

How things turned out like this, how everything got so messed up just because of one wrong choice.

Pero i still have Lucas.

And life goes on, happy ending or not.

Hiccups!

Hello baby! You've been hiccuping so much lately and its so cool just to feel the rhythmic tapping in my belly and know that it's actually you doing your usual hiccups;)

Why Do Babies Hiccup So Much In The Womb?

Many pregnant women wonder what their baby is doing when they feel those rhythmic movements later in pregnancy. Most are surprised to learn their baby has the hiccups! That is right, many babies have the hiccups while they are in the womb and some babies have the hiccups multiple times per day. But, what causes this and why do babies hiccup in the womb anyway?

There has not been an overwhelming amount of research on fetal hiccupping in the womb, although there is some speculation as to why it happens. First of all, only more mature fetuses hiccup in the womb because their central nervous system is adequately developed in order to allow this to happen. It is believed that the fetus breathes in amniotic fluid or drinks it. When this happens and the amniotic fluid enters and exists the fetus lungs then the diaphragm contracts and hiccups results. Fetal hiccups appear to be extremely normal and almost all moms will feel the babies hiccups at least once if not on a regular basis.

Keep in mind that when you r fetus is hiccupping there is nothing wrong. You dont need to call your doctor or midwife, unless you feel something else is going on, and you dont need to freak out. Simply relax and enjoy feeling your baby move inside you.

A fun thing to do is to keep a record of when your babies hiccups en utero. This can be a fun piece of information to store in your baby book or share with your child when he/she is older.

Almost all women will feel their fetus hiccupping at least once during the pregnancy if not more. Some women dont recognize the rhythmic movement as hiccupping, but most do. In addition, some babies will hiccup on a daily basis and others even more frequently.

If your baby is hiccupping on a regular basis then you can feel free to mention it your doctor however you will be assured that hiccupping is normal and it in now way affects your child youre your heath.

We just ate chicken for lunch!

And we love it! Nyamnyam time!

Baby! ur so big na! You've been really practicing ur flying kick lately. Can't wait to see you soon. Too bad Dr. Heng is on vacation and will only be coming back on April 12. Guess, we'll just have to wait for your daddy on the 20th before we go back to the doctor. I love you!

It's raining cats and dogs!

Baby! We made it! As in nakahabol tayo sa shuttle @ Simei!;)

Gawd its raining so hard! It would be a torture if we're gonna take the mrt to Expo and walk walk walk to the office! Kasi naman ang vomit schedule naten diba dapat once we're here at the office na? Poor baby sorry i made you drink teh susu. You don't like the taste ba? Mummy's craving for something hot kase.

Good morning! I love you!

mum

Baby Countdown!

I finally got you a countdown widget baby! Sooo cute!

Thanks to babystrology.com.

Happy mummy...happy baby;)

Baby what's wrong with me???

I went to Sunday mass yesterday with your Ninang mel and Ninang rache. After the mass, we went to the hawker to buy drinks and i caught two aunties pointing at my tummy and snickering. While waiting for our bus to arrive, caught another lady throwing meaningful looks at me and my tummy. What's wrong with me???

mum